Shut up. Oh my God, shut up. Mean Girls: The Game, the latest tower defense game from So Much Drama Studios, is here. And—as Gretchen Weiners would say—it is so fetch! So Much Drama, which has been responsible for well-received mobile titles such as RuPaul’s Drag Race, Dragopolis, and Firefly, now offers players the opportunity to dispatch a whole new generation of perfect little Plastics.
If, for some crazy reason, you have not seen the film that has spawned countless Millennial catchphrases, the gist of it all is thus:
Cady Herring (Lindsay Lohan, pre-Sheenification) was home-schooled and lived in Africa with her parents until her junior year in high school, after her mother accepts a teaching position in the States. Cady enrolls in North Shore High School, where she is almost immediately befriended by the coolest girls at school. When these hussies (a powerhouse cast that consists of Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried and Lacey Chabert) prove to be friends that no one really wants, Cady develops a plan with her outsider pals Damian and Janice to take down the Plastics from the inside.
That, minus a lot of laughs, is where Mean Girls: Return of the Plastics picks up. Okay; now that we’re all on the same page:
Janice Ian guides players through the basics of battling the new upstart Plastics clique, which is presently in the making at North Shore High School. These wannabes are after the dismantled Spring Fling Tiara, which is apparently a great source of power.
(Okay, maybe a little more background:
Cady was chosen as Spring Fling Queen as the movie wrapped up, but she very climatically broke the crown into pieces and distributed it to “everyone” who attended the school dance that evening. She was wearing a “mathlete” varsity jacket, and gave an unsolicited speech which the principal kept trying to interrupt by saying, “Honestly, most people just take the tiara and walk offstage.” It was very Disney, and adorable, and now it’s the premise of the game of the same name.)
For those of you who don’t know what a tower defense game is, So Much Drama Studios has developed the perfect way to learn. Defend the North Shore High tiara against the waves of nouveau Plastic adversaries that enter the cafeteria (or the gym, or any one of five playable areas). Do this by recruiting and strategically placing the JV Jocks, Drama Geeks, Goths, Cheerleaders, Punks, or Skaters around the map. Each class/clique has different strengths, and can be leveled up to reach peak potential. Lose any level by allowing ten Plastics to reach the tiara. Losing a level also reserves players a space in the Burn Book.
Damian greets players every new day that they log in with Candy Cane Grams, as well as a friendly reminder that you go, Glen Coco. Use these extra points to buy swag in the North Shore Store (which is manned by Principal Duvall’s nephew Anfernee, who gets pretty mad when you call him Anthony). Items available to give Cady, Gretchen and Regina George the competitive edge include Kalteen bars (which boosts a clique’s power for a limited time), a Humpday Treat (which offers cliques an attack boost), or even a School Bus (for with which to mow down even the most pernicious Plastics). As players move through the narrative, they can use these items and movie memorabilia to boost the prestige and popularity needed to power up.
Regulation hotties, mathletes, and those who are too gay to function are among the eight playable characters in this new tiara defense game. Playable characters include Cady, Regina, Gretchen, Karen, Janis, Damian, Aaron, and Kevin. Don’t know who those people are? That is irrelevant. All players need to know is that each character comes equipped with their own distinct boost abilities, as well as minions in the form of cliques to fight waves of attackers. Er, well, high school sophomores. You know what, you should really just stop what you’re doing right now and watch this movie. It’s streaming on Netflix, and Jeff Meador, So Much Drama president and founder, says, “Mean Girls is hilarious, brutal, and endlessly quotable; I absolutely loved watching and re-watching the film.
Meador reports that his game is “rich with the quirky humor, over-the-top high school power struggles, and everything from hilarious lines, peppermint foot cream, to, yes, the Burn Book.” And I concur. Use a character’s unique skills, their ever-growing clique and—where applicable—any and all viable Mean Girls movie trivia to usurp new up-and-coming coteries. Drawing on some of the endlessly quotable lines from this teen comedy, players can choose from seven game modes with names like You Can’t Sit With Us, Social Suicide, She Doesn’t Even Go Here, and The Limit Does Not Exist.